WEEK 8
FINDING MY PEOPLE
Last week I said no to a hug. I said, "No, thank you, I'll wave." I didn't say sorry. The grown-up said okay, and waved back. It took about four seconds, and the world didn't end. Then I told my mom and my dad that they're my two. My mom cried a little. She does that.
Here's the last thing, and it's the thing my mom's whole book is about at the end: you don't do any of this alone.
Walk in anyway. The first day of anything, it feels like everybody already knows each other. They don't. Walk in anyway, and find one person standing by herself.
Say your name like you mean it. Not quiet. Not with a shrug. "I'm Harper." That's the whole introduction.
Ask out loud. If you need help, say the exact thing. "Can you show me how to do this part?" People love to help when they know how.
Be the one who says "come meet my friend." When somebody is alone, that's your job. It's the best job in the room.
HERE'S WHAT I'M SAYING OUT LOUD THIS WEEK:
"I'm Harper. Come meet my friend."
HERE'S WHAT I'M DOING THIS WEEK:
Finding the person standing by herself and saying hi first.
PRACTICE FIRST:
Walk into the kitchen and say your name like you mean it, on tape. Then do it in a real room.
Mirror, then with the family on tape (a grown-up's phone, private album called Practice), then for real.
WRITE IT IN
Saved on this device only. Nothing leaves your phone or computer.
THE END, WHICH IS REALLY THE START
That's the whole book. Eight weeks. Six things, plus finding your people, plus a whole album of tapes that only you and your grown-up have ever seen.
Here's what you have now that you didn't have eight weeks ago. You know there's no "just." You know everything you do counts. You know it's never too late and never too early. You know "one day" is a day, and you know how to tell if it's yours or ours. You know your work is worth something. You know your body is yours and no means no. And you know how to walk into a room.
Here's the part my mom told me, and I didn't believe her until Week 6: you don't have to learn any of this again when you're big. You already did it. You have it on tape.
Do it again next year. Read it to somebody younger than you. Watch your Week 1 tape and laugh at how quiet you were.
WRITE IT IN
Saved on this device only. Nothing leaves your phone or computer.
TO WHOEVER IS READING THIS.
You are not behind. You are not too young. You're starting from everything you already know.
My mom says it to grown-ups. I'm saying it to you.
Own yours.
harper